Accepting the fact that a loved one is abusive can be difficult, even impossible in some situations. Getting out of such a toxic dynamic isn’t as simple as many people claim it to be. Victims are stuck in a perpetual cycle of affection and abuse that keeps them tangled up, confused and incapable of getting back on their feet.

In February 2018, The Straits Times published a comprehensive article on the topic of dating abuse and what Singaporeans consider unacceptable when people are in a romantic connection. The newspaper conducted a survey to gauge feelings and understandings of healthy communication and abuse red flags.

On top of the survey, the newspaper also presented in-depth analysis contributed by one of Adelphi Psych Medicine Clinic’s psychologists in Singapore.

Abuse or Not: What Do Singaporeans Think

The survey sheds a lot of light on what Singaporeans consider to be abuse in romantic settings.

Of the 50 respondents, 49 said that being pressured into performing certain intimate acts is abuse. In addition, 47 respondents said that being grabbed or shaken in an argument is abuse. Forty-two of the respondents said that being verbally put down also constitutes abuse.

Things become a bit more uncertain when subtler form of abuse are being considered. According to 30 respondents, being constantly asked about your whereabouts during the day isn’t abuse. Of all people questioned, 25 said that being slapped once or shaken in an argument isn’t abuse.

To find out the full details of the survey and the analysis that we did to explain acceptable and unacceptable behaviours in romantic connotations, please check out the article below. Principal Consultant Psychologist Sue Anne Nummela’s observations on young people and relationship distress suggests that many young individuals will not seek assistance, even when they have a hunch the relationship isn’t ok.

The article can be found here.

Here are images of the article if you cannot see the PDF.