Healing from Within: A Nurse’s Journey Through Depression

At Adelphi Psych, we understand that every individual’s journey with mental health is unique and deeply personal.

In this candid and heartfelt piece, a patient shares their experience with Depression—a struggle that is both challenging and transformative. Their story reflects the importance of self-acceptance, therapy, and persistence in the face of adversity. By sharing their journey, they hope to inspire others who might be facing similar challenges to take the first step toward healing. This narrative underscores the significance of personalized care and support in mental health recovery, values we hold dear at Adelphi Psych.

I was a nurse when Depression hit me. I struggled accepting the diagnosis. Being taught and taking care of patients with Depression, I thought I knew better. I wondered even till today, when did fall into Depression? But there is no answer.

My journey of recovery started not from the moment I first saw my therapist but rather accepting the diagnosis. The starting journey was filled with a lot of anguish and frustration of why(s) and how(s)? I was trying to reconcile in my mind what was going on and how do I quickly recover from Depression. I was driven and heavily focused on when am I going to recover than focusing on the journey of recovery. I forgot that unlike usual physical ailments; mental illnesses have a diverse and very different healing trajectory. We do have medications that assist me in recovery allowing me to seek the temporary relief from what is tormenting us. We are at times helplessly trapped in our own mind trying to figure out how to untangle ourselves up in the mind. There are at times trial-and-error, plenty of I-thought-I-am-better-now but sliding back into the rut a few days later. The battle against Depression was stricken with exasperation and anguish (Lots of “Why me?”).

This is how the journey feels like:

How did acceptance help? It allowed me to put in the pieces and understand how Depression happened for me, the possible causes and how I can help myself out of the condition. I took notice of how my cognitive thinking was slightly malfunctioning and personal identity was at risk.

I spent a lot of energy and time in retrospect and that sort of become a catalyst in my journey to recovery. I scrutinized my inner self, insecurities and self-doubts that butchered me. Penning down all these thoughts and asking myself “Are they True?”, “How do I better think or change the way I perceive all these negativities?” Thankfully I have an amazing therapist, Joanna, that helped me find my way and build the confidence to stand up and reject those negative doubts and beliefs.

It was rewarding and it one hell of a ride. I never saw how my past trauma and unhealed wounds can pull me down and made me so worthless. The constant berating of myself by myself in my mind was damaging. I was so focused on my imperfections and trying to perfect everything that I couldn’t celebrate what I was doing well. Therapy changed it. I am starting to look at everything with a little more optimism and positivity. I am slowly accepting my insecurities, my imperfections and my inability. It gives me something to tell myself, I am not a superhero, I am just human and that’s okay.

This heartfelt account was contributed by a brave individual who wishes to remain anonymous. Their story is a reminder that recovery is possible, and seeking help is a sign of strength. At Adelphi Psych, we are here to support you on your own journey toward healing.